It’s
All In The Mind !
The wise have always spoken about
the difference between knowledge and wisdom.
I have often personally experienced that knowledge without wisdom is dangerous. The enlightened masters try
and share their wisdom but things often get lost in translation. Communication is difficult business
especially when it is between people.
As a passionate recreational athlete,
I have tried to follow the words of all the great runners and athletes and come
to realize that I often, totally misunderstand what they are trying to
say. Sometimes I don’t understand their
point at all, and sometimes, and this is worse, I understand only half.
For many years, I have often heard
people use the phrase, “It’s all in the mind”.
Until last year, I never really understood what it meant.
People use this phrase very often to describe the last leg of a marathon. After 32km, they say, “It’s all in the mind.” For 89 Km Comrades Ultra Marathon, they use the phrase after the first 60km. “You can train for the first 60km, but after that, it’s all in the mind.”
People use this phrase very often to describe the last leg of a marathon. After 32km, they say, “It’s all in the mind.” For 89 Km Comrades Ultra Marathon, they use the phrase after the first 60km. “You can train for the first 60km, but after that, it’s all in the mind.”
My understanding or rather misunderstanding
of this phrase, started with a fictional character. It started with the Rocky movies. The first
movie was released in 1976. I was just 10 years old then and I went to see it
along with my Dad. I still vividly remember the awesome experience. The 6th Rocky movie was released in
2006. I own all the DVD’s and I know
every scene from every movie.
In almost all the movies, there
would be a fight when Rocky would be down and out inside the ring, his face
would be beaten to pulp, his eyes would be swollen up and his nose broken. There would be blood all over the place. After a massive blow from his opponent, Rocky
would fall down and the commentator would shout, “And Balboa is down!!”
Then the music would start and we
would get transported inside his mind. A slightly disoriented Rocky would
visualize his coach shouting encouragements at him, his wife pleading him to
get up, he would visualize his son, he would visualize fragments from his other
fights, and all the time the beat of the music would be rising to a crescendo
and then a voice-over would speak some kick-ass lines: “Life isn’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep
moving forward. How much you can take
and keep moving forward. That’s how
winning is done!”
By now, the music would have
reached such a crescendo that I would have stopped eating my popcorn or sipping
my coke. I now wanted to jump out of the
seat and jump into the ring myself.
And then, Rocky would miraculously
find his strength! BOOOM!! BOOOM!!! BOOOM!!! Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah!!
He would then get up, in
slow motion, and within minutes beat the other guy to pulp.
My conclusion on watching this:
“It’s all in the mind.”
As I grew up I started to believe
that some miracle happens when a champion is down and is in need of
inspiration. I started to believe that
the champions have a special corner in their mind into which they can dip whenever
they are in need of a reboot. They simply dig
deep and are able to pull-off miraculous recoveries at their own whim. I came to believe that they have a superior
mind which triumphs over adversity, a mind that triumphs over the weaknesses of
their mortal bodies. That they are made of sterner awesome stuff!
I came to believe that by purely
the power of their mind, they can overcome all hurdles.
I have often tried to do a
Rocky.
At 65km mark in 89 km Comrades Ultra Marathon, Neepa has shouted at me, “Come on Amit, it’s all in your mind. Be strong, think of the kids, they are waiting at the finish, Come on, RUN, don’t walk, let’s do this, let’s go, let’s go, you’re not tired, it’s all in your mind, you can’t give up, let’s go, let’s go, it’s all in your mind!!”
Standing on that Comrades route,
buggered beyond reasonable limits, with salt having leached out of my body and
onto my skin, with my stomach sick and full of a concoction of GU, Energade, Cola
and being ready to vomit at a moment’s notice, I have searched inside myself
and my mind for that elusive strength. I have searched for that mind which can
prevail over my weak matter.
I have waited for inspiration. I have waited for the bells to ring, for the
sound of music, for lightning to strike, for the heavens to open up, for the
clouds to part and for the phoenix to rise.
I have waited for the elusive voice-over with some kick-ass dialogue.....It
has never come.
Matter has always won over my
mind. My mind has always given up.
After a few such experiences I concluded
that either my mind was not strong enough, or that I have misunderstood the
phrase, “mind over matter”.
Osho often used to say, “I am
responsible only for what I say, and not for what you understand.” And I have
come to the conclusion that I had understood only half of what the phrase
meant.
Comrades 2014 finally made me see
the light or at least the halo of a light.
I might have still not fully grasped the concept but I do now know that
my original understanding was wrong and that in-itself is great progress.
For the 2014 Comrades, I followed a
training schedule given to me by my friend Celi. Celi dramatically altered my training
routine. I used to run about 1000km
between Jan and May. Celi made me run
1600km. He made me do far more speed and
hill training than I would have ever done on my own. It was hard to push so much, but having
experienced agony and tragedy on that Comrades road a few times, I was
determined to do whatever it took to enjoy a safe finish.
Celi gave me only one piece of
advice besides my training schedule. His
advice was simple and elegant and scary.
For every speed and hill training day, he
wrote: “Kill Yourself”*. For every speed
repeat he wanted me to push hard: “Kill yourself”*.
For every repeat he wanted me to
hold nothing back and to give it all I had. “Kill Yourself”*, he wrote.
Every time when I ran my repeats
and felt myself slowing down, I asked myself the question, “Am I killing
myself?” and the answer was invariably “No” and suddenly the legs would move
again, faster and faster !
What he wanted me to do during my
training runs was to get into a zone of discomfort. He wanted to get me to experience the pain of
race day, again and again in training, although only in small doses. And so I
pushed through pain and did in training what I hoped to do on race day.
And finally on Comrades day 2014,
whenever I felt a bit tired, it was easy to look back with confidence at what I
had endured in training. I would again ask
my mind, “Are you killing yourself?” and the answer was always a “No” and then
I knew that I could keep moving forward towards the finish line.
I had realized that it cannot be
“mind over matter” in a crisis unless you have trained the mind when not in a
crisis. It is only when the mind has
experienced in training that which is coming on race day, can you be prepared.
I have learnt that there cannot be
a magic day unless I have done in training what I want to do on race day. This does not mean that if I want to run a
marathon in 4:30 that I have to run a 42k in training in 4:30 but it does mean
that I do some decent amount of distances on race-day pace in training and some
shorter distances faster than race-day pace in training. The whole combination of training has to be perfect: long runs, recovery runs, speed intervals, hill intervals and fartlek runs. Unless everything is done right, there won't be any race day magic!
In my non-scientific, purely personal,
and non-professional opinion, I have come to the conclusion that the human mind
is programmed to shut down the body whenever it fears that the body will
irreversibly hurt itself. The only way
to push the body beyond its normal comfort zone is to convince the mind that
the body will not perish and the only way to convince the mind is to take it
into that zone in small doses in training.
So later, on race day, the mind recognizes the zone and allows the body
to keep moving.
Looking back, I realize that
Muhammad Ali, (a real-life hero as opposed to a fictional Rocky) had
articulated the message perfectly well quite a long time ago but I had failed
to understand it.
Ali said that, “The fight is won or
lost far away from witnesses- behind the lines, in the gym, and out there on
the road, long before I dance under those lights.”
Finally I have understood what Ali
meant. There is no sudden magic, the phoenix does not rise by some miraculous
energy brought forth by the Gods, the skies don’t bring forth thunder showers
to quench your thirst and music does not herald the victory of mind over
matter.
If the mind has to prevail over
matter when it matters, it has to first learn to do so when it does not
matter.
As a recreational runner, winning for me, on Comrades day, means simply finishing the race. I have now come to believe that my battle to finish Comrades is also won or lost far away from witnesses- behind the lines, in the gym, and out there on the road, long before I stagger on uncertain wobbly legs into the stadium under those brilliant lights!
---------------------------------------------
*(All my conclusions in this blog
might be applicable only to a subset of one. i.e: To Me. I am not a coach and would not advice anyone
else to follow anything I say. Celi’s
advice to me, “Kill Yourself”, was given with a certain explanation and
expectation which was applicable only to me.
The word’s “Kill Yourself” in reference to the Comrades Ultra may be quite
misunderstood and misconstrued. There is
no intention on Celi’s or my part to get injured or damaged or killed while
following our passion for running. It is
only a phrase meant for me to remember and motivate myself to push to the limits
which I am capable of. The phrase might
as well have been: “Amit, my boy, Please Be very careful NOT to get injured but try and push
yourself as hard as you can” in which case, it might have not worked for me.
A long mantra might have not done its magic. I needed a Rocky-esque dialogue.
And so Celi gave me my very own kick-ass mantra: "Kill Yourself" and it worked and in the final analysis, that is what Matters !
A long mantra might have not done its magic. I needed a Rocky-esque dialogue.
And so Celi gave me my very own kick-ass mantra: "Kill Yourself" and it worked and in the final analysis, that is what Matters !